The Cost of Doing Life

I am not a ‘power of positive thinking’ kind of person. I’ve always considered myself a realist and one who weighs the cost of doing life from a bottom up view.

What I mean is that my thoughts tend to be skeptical until proven otherwise. It’s sort of that whole “expect the worst and you are never disappointed” philosophy. That’s not an easy way to go through life to be honest. It leads to over thinking, anxiety and borrowing troubles that may never actually happen. Yet I naturally do it.

It’s a concerted effort on my part to try to focus on the good in life. I’m not oblivious to it. It just seems that it doesn’t impact me with the same force that bad does. Maybe that speaks volumes about my brain.

I haven’t written here for a while. I try to be positive here and write about things that I feel God is doing or even just things to encourage people. But I simply haven’t been ‘feeling it’ lately.

That’s not to say that there haven’t been many positives going on around me. I finished some big projects at work and moved into a nice new office. I’ve been blessed with random gifts and met new friends. I upgraded my camera equipment and I’m learning new things in that hobby. I do recognize the blessings of God in my life. I honestly do.

But underneath my mindset are these strong feelings of justice for wrongs. It’s a demon I’ve always fought. I have a very powerful sense of justice. It extraordinarily difficult for me to see injustice. Whether it’s criminals killing a store owner in south St. Louis for $30 or Obama and his government perpetrating scandals and injustices on the American people. Fortunately the criminal in south St. Louis has been caught, but the government always wins even when they are the criminals.

I ought to re-read my blog entries from before and remind myself that I need to calm down and let God be God. Nothing escapes His eye. If any of us are victimizing someone else, He knows about it. Hebrews 10:31-31 says “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay. And again, The Lord will judge His people. It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”

I ought to refocus on my own shortcomings. I ought to repent and pray for restitution for those people who are doing evil. I ought to remember that Christ died for their sins the same as my sins and that I am only a sinner saved by grace. I ought to pray that these people come to repentance so that they can enter into the Kingdom of God.

But right now I just want to see some justice.

I’m sure you’ve all felt this way. Wouldn’t it be great to see evildoers finally get what’s coming to them for a change? Wouldn’t it be great to see those who have such power and use it abusively humbled and brought down mightily? To see their arrogance publicly blighted and their power stripped away?

Yes it would. That would be a satisfying feeling for sure.

But even as I type this, I feel the tingling of God’s spirit. Wouldn’t it be better if they came to repentance and their hearts were changed so that they didn’t operate this way? A changed heart is so much more valuable to all of those around it. We can do far more good by willingly submitting to God and His Word. Serving God will always bless others more than serving yourself, Rupert Murdoch, George Soros or Barack Obama.

I pray God’s will be done in the USA and around the world. Unfortunately, if you follow Biblical prophecy, you know that hard times are destined for us this world. Maybe these are those times. If that’s the case, we all need to quickly learn to follow God with all of our hearts.

So yes, I still want justice. But I need to want restitution even more. Your prayers are appreciated.