A Craggy Christmas Vol. 1 by the Crag of the Wild Goats
1 Johnny Christmas
2 Johnny and the Reindeer Ban
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Johnny Christmas
Word and Music by Rick Mester
Instruments and Vocals – Rick Mester
Female Voice – Shawna Sonntag
Cover Art Design – Shawna Sonntag
Mixed and Mastered by Rick Mester
LYRICS
Christmas is coming
Everybody’s running
The sound of angels singing
Your doorbell is ringing
Outside is a goat
A man in a trench coat
Sucking on his binky
Exposing his… umm… pinky
It’s Johnny Christmas
It’s that time of year
He’s coming to your house
You may never hear
ho, ho, ho
ho, ho, ho
ho, ho, ho, ho, ho
He is looking into your window
Honey I think there’s somebody looking in the window
John
ho, ho, ho
ho, ho, ho
ho, ho, ho, ho, ho
All he wants to do is see if you’ve got milk and cookies
Is that an elf?
Christmas is coming
You better be running
There’s an elf named Don he
Asks what to do with Johnny
But Johnny’s in your house
In his favorite Christmas blouse
It doesn’t really fit
But he don’t give a… care
It’s Johnny Christmas
It’s that time of year
He’s coming to your house
You may never hear
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Johnny and the Reindeer Ban
Word and Music by Rick Mester
Instruments and Vocals – Rick Mester
Cover Art Design – Shawna Sonntag
Mixed and Mastered by Rick Mester
LYRICS
Santa needs better background checks
For those his halls he pays to deck
And also for the reindeer chores
Rudolph’s nose ain’t red no more
John was found in the back of the barn
Poor old Santa was never warned
There was nothing that he could do
He didn’t know John was banned from the zoo
Now them reindeer are so sad
Cuz Johnny did stuff that was so bad
Him and his elf that always smells
They have ruined jingle bells
Santa needs better background checks
For those his halls he pays to deck
And also for the reindeer chores
Rudolph’s nose ain’t red no more
John escaped and opened a store
Called Squibbles’ Venison & More
Santa had to lose some weight
He had nine deer, now he’s got eight
They can’t pull the heavy sleigh
The kids won’t get that much today
Santa wears a shirt that now fits him
It says in memory of Blitzen
Santa needs better background checks
For those his halls he pays to deck
And also for the reindeer chores
Rudolph’s nose ain’t red no more
© 2024 Sombrant Reality Productions/Zophim Records