No I am not proposing a trade…  A beehive for a brain.  No, my brain is a beehive a lot of the time.  I am very good at obsessing over things for days and days.  Just let me become aware of a problem or even a potential problem and the buzzing begins.

I think I’ve always been like this.  Present me with a problem and my brain automatically runs through every outcome that it can conceive of.  Then, I go to work on each scenario and how I will need to approach it.  The ‘wait and see’ approach is just unacceptable to my brain.  Somehow my brain thinks it’s logical to have a plan for everything so I don’t have to worry about what I will do…  Never mind the ‘pre-worrying’ for all the things that will not happen.  It’s called “borrowing trouble”.  I do it a lot.

So this entire past week I have been obsessing about many things (yes my brain also likes to multitask).  I’ve decided to make a concerted effort at cutting back on the money I spend every month and the time I waste on things.  I deleted my Facebook account and a host of other things.  I want to develop some new skills in my career field, so I’ve been obsessing about how to get the training and how to pay for it.

Eventually, the buzzing gets to be too much and I have to make it stop.  I have to remind myself about the big picture.  You know the one.  Where our faith in God supersedes our faith in America, money, people or our employers.  This bigger picture is indeed a bigger kingdom.  It is here, this kingdom.  The kingdom of God is within you and I.  No amount of poverty, anxiety or Americanism can separate us from the love of Christ.

So I write this for me.  I want to be able to go back and read this when the buzzing is loud.  I want to trust in the Lord that His will be done.  I want to be onboard with His will…  no matter where it leads us.

One of the great writers of our time, Leonard Cohen wrote a beautiful song called “If It Be Your Will“.  I will leave you with the lyrics and a handy YouTube video of Leonard introducing his song but letting the Webb Sisters do the singing this time.  Enjoy…

If It Be Your Will – by Leonard Cohen

If it be your will
That I speak no more
And my voice be still
As it was before
I will speak no more
I shall abide until
I am spoken for
If it be your will
If it be your will
That a voice be true
From this broken hill
I will sing to you
From this broken hill
All your praises they shall ring
If it be your will
To let me sing
From this broken hill
All your praises they shall ring
If it be your will
To let me sing

If it be your will
If there is a choice
Let the rivers fill
Let the hills rejoice
Let your mercy spill
On all these burning hearts in hell
If it be your will
To make us well

And draw us near
And bind us tight
All your children here
In their rags of light
In our rags of light
All dressed to kill
And end this night
If it be your will

If it be your will