John is a hero, he is the man
Everybody calls him the corn cob man
John is a hero, he is a man
He is the corn cob man
John is the corn cob man
He is from Afghanistan
John the corn cob man
John the corn cob man
John the corn cob man
He beat up your granny
John the corn cob man
Walking around the yard in her panties
John the corn cob man
John the corn cob man
John the corn cob man
He’s from Afghanistan

Johnny got a cape
Johnny got a chicken wing
Johnny got a corn cob, that’s just a stupid thing
John got mm mm, John got a mm oooh
John got a 

If you are a criminal and you’re going to rob
Johnny gonna gore you with his corn cob
He gonna stab you right in the guts
Ooooh ow dry husk

John’s not the hero you want
He is the hero you got
John’s not the hero you want
He is the hero you got
Please try to understand
John is the corn cob man
Please try to understand
John is the corn cob man

John looks nice in his tank top blouse
He’s waiting for you inside the out house
He’s here to serve, that’s the plan
Remember he’s the corn cob man
John is the corn cob man
He is from Afghanistan
John the corn cob man
John the corn cob man
Johnny said I’d better not write this verse
He said he would probably pronounce a curse
And I am very, very adverse
Don’t wanna get hit by his corn cob purse
John the corn cob man
John the corn cob man
He’s from Afghanistan

Johnny got a cape
Johnny got a chicken wing
Johnny got a corn cob, that’s just a stupid thing
John got mm mm, John got a mm oooh
John got a 

If you are a criminal and you’re going to rob
Johnny gonna gore you with his corn cob
He gonna stab you right in the guts
Ooooh ow dry husk

John’s not the hero you want
He is the hero you got
John’s not the hero you want
He is the hero you got
Please try to understand
John is the corn cob man
Please try to understand
John is the corn cob man

© 2025 Sombrant Reality Productions/Zophim Records